I'll build you a moat if you fix me breakfast

So, I'm not sure if people still have moats, but I decided I could build one today. All I need is the following recipe:

• 7:30 bed time
• One of my children

I've learned that I can create my own moat because every night, at 7:30, I walk, and walk, and walk in circles around my children's room. I wait for them to get sleepy. I wait until I count 100 circles. I wait for - well - what feels like - Godot.

And tonight I got to thinking. I could build someone a moat doing just this. But then, I thought, I guess there's not a big market for moats.

But let's not get side tracked.

If someone did need a moat - if someone let me sleep one night, 8 hours without interruption, I would build them a really nice moat. I'd even add the water for free.

If they made me breakfast, I would build them a drawbridge (I would probably have to hire this out, but that's okay, because I'm eating breakfast - the real kind - not the "kiss you, kiss you, grab a leftover biscuit from last night's dinner on my way out the door" kind, so no price is too high).

As I finally, put my child in his crib, I turned to leave the room and thought, if they would let me stay in the morning, and curl up with a good book, I would make them a castle.

Wow. Sleep. And breakfast. And a good book ...

And then I tripped over the baby gate on my way downstairs and bruised my hip and thought, probably, it's best if nobody trusts me with their moat building.

Damn. So close.